When pigs did fly...!!!

“ ‘ Yeh dilli hai mere yaar….bas ishq mohabbat mere yaar… masti hai mastano ki dilli, gali hai deewano ki dilli 6…..’ Abe apna alarm band kar @*$%&#$* !!! ” …. A normal morning for me… as my phone’s alarm rings to AR RAHMAN’s ( the legend) rocking Delhi 6, it wakes everyone in my room barring me… and my roomies make sure I atleast hear something explicit early morning. Whatever happened to love and kindness..!!!

I reach beneath my pillow to shut the alarm and I try hard to open my damn eyes to find the screen sayin… 1 new message. I open it.. a bloody ‘forward’ again which goes… “ Hundred years ago when asked if a Black Man could ever become the President of USA, they said ‘and pigs will fly’. And, now that Obama becomes president, Pigs are indeed flying with Swine Flu all around.”

I couldn’t stop myself from thinking ( a very tedious task). Here I am in the ‘H1N1’ capital of India, PUNE reading about pigs and their flu and its symptoms and its fear. 73 cases at the time I write this. I get ready, and head to class only to find a lot of people absent and the others either coughing, sneezing or having their kerchiefs to their nose. I too have been suffering from random bouts of cold and sinus problem for a few days, what with the incessant rain in this part of the nation. A girl of my class thrusts me a sheet and asks to sign… I oblige, only to find a petition attached to it. Ahhhh curious…?? So was I. As I went through it I realized that the petition was for a medical check up and blood test for all the students in order to check for Swine Flu.

Disaster!!! I never thought of my ‘falling ill’ this way. Suddenly, my whole POV ( point of view yaar) changes… And I find my friends showing all the symptoms of the dreaded flu. High fever, running nose, body aches, fatigue, sore throat, vomiting…. It was all around. As we coughed our way to glory, our professor thought it was a prank. I do not blame her, given our batch’s reputation. But, then again for once it wasn’t. As someone from my class said.. ‘people are dying’. What a day.. what a start… I blamed it all on that Obama message.

Swine flu.. ah..that dreaded virus !!! The bloody ‘SUAR KE BACHCHOS’ have caught the whole world off guard. But I believe there is more to it than just what meets the eyes. I think it’s a conspiracy… conspiracy by all the vegetarians of the world. And you ask why…?? What why..??? They are jealous that they cannot experience some of the best things in life… chicken, mutton, fish, egg…yummmmy. I can hear them scream ‘Why should non-veggies have all the fun?’. So they first infect our chickens and now our porks. And, I don’t think they are gonna stop ( fish clan… dont tell me… I did not warn you).

But the whole issue is we are being taken down by those Veggies. Damn it. We shouldn’t have told them how better meat was than the ‘palak ki sabji’, ‘aloo tamatar’ etc. We should have been more careful. But then again, they forget that swine flu spreads even if you don’t eat pork. Stupid Veggies. That proves ‘sabji’ never served any purpose to your brain. Ha.. MOM I told you, I don’t wanna have sabji.

My mind is off swine flu and infections for a while, suddenly I am greeted at my mess, by a huge poster saying “ Donate Blood”. Holy Crap…!!! Who in their senses would want to have blood from us, a bunch of threatened species here in Pune.

As I head back to my hostel room, hurriedly to tell you my tale for the day… I am slightly worried.. I am headed for a blood test soon… who knows what will turn up..?? Pray for me friends.. kya pata kal ho naa ho !!!

Oh yeaaa… here’s advice for the day : Be kind to people who smoke and drink… they are dying.

Will keep you all (the very few of you who actually are jobless enough to read this.) posted.

p.s: i stole the 'advice of the day' from one of the profs here.

Godbless atheism !!!